Beyond mentors: The three friends for growth
Posted by Giang Son | Jun 21, 2025 | 2 min read
An old idea on the friends you should surround yourself with.
[I did not invent this. It is an idea that I got from somewhere some time ago but can't remember the origin.]
There's been quite a lot of talk about how a mentor can help you develop. I'd like to expand on that idea by saying that you should generally keep these 3 friends around:
- The mentor: Someone who's just one or two levels ahead of you. They were once in your place but now has moved on to later stages (say, in their career). They know the challenges you are and will be facing very well, they know the do's and the don'ts, they have the experience. They will show you how to advance.
- The peer: Someone who's on the same level as you are. They may be going through the same things that you are, or they are on the same path, or they share your ambitions. They relate to you, and you to them. You can look at this person as reference for your own progress. They motivate you in many ways (possibly by providing you with either encouragement or competition).
- The student: Someone who's one or two levels behind you. You were once in their place, and you can show them how to advance. By guiding this person, you also benefit yourself since teaching/explaining has been shown to be (one of) the best form of learning. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be surprised by how much a padawan can teach you back.
To be clear, I don't necessarily mean exactly 3 friends: you can have more than one mentors, peers and students. Conversely, you can have the same person play more than one role.
And these don't even have to be your friends either . They may as well be strangers from the internet. I personally learnt a lot just by plowing through tons of people's career trajectories (LinkedIn profiles, personal pages, CVs, etc.), so they act as a "mentor" without interacting with me.
Similarly, as I'm writing this post, I'm thinking of you — yes, you, dear reader — as the student I'm explaining this to. So, thank you for that, and I hope you take away something new after reading this.